You're Not Alone

This chick is a girl after my own heart. I'm pretty sure we've all had this conversation with at least one member of our family while planning our awesome rock bar/ planetarium/ roller derby wedding. www.blaghag.com/2010/08/sometimes-i-forget-that-not-everyone-is.html

Jill & Matthew's Rustic Rock Fall Wedding!

How They Met: These adorable darlings met when Jill posted an extra ticket to Ryan Adams on Craigslist. Matthew was the first one to respond that he wanted it, and they ended up sitting next to each and chatting through the concert. They exchanged numbers after the show and couldn't stop chatting that night. The rest, as they say, is history.

Their Theme: They chose fall colors for their September wedding and labeled each table after a concert they had been to together. It fit perfectly with the rock-club venue of the Bottom Lounge, in the West Loop of Chicago.

Thanks: These guys were super mellow and very crafty (they made all the candle holders out of wine bottles! All of them!!). We are so happy to have worked with them on their incredibly special day. Love you guys!

Welcome. Have a bag.

A sweet, but totally financially draining, tradition is the welcome bag for out of town guests. Why, oh why, must you spend even more money on people who will be enjoying the fruits of your labor at your wedding? Simply put? It's your wedding. You are getting enjoyment out of it. They are spending a boatload of cash to fly out, stay at a hotel, rent a car, find a babysitter for the kids/dog/fish, and buy you a gift so the least you can do for these friends & family making the extra effort is say a special thank you for their commitment to your friendship.

That being said, you don't have to go broke with the welcome bags. Here are some fun things to include that will not break the bank:

- Transportation Maps. If you're getting married in a city, these are a lifesaver for out-of-towners and usually free. Just pick some up at your local subway or bus stop.

- Time Out [insert city here]. These magazines are great and have a zillion things to do that will keep your family & friends from trying to spend time with you when you're trying to prep for the wedding.

- A Transportation Fare Card. Again, super useful, relatively cheap (depending on how many people you're buying for), and keeps people out of your hair and lets them explore the city.

- Brochures for the area. These are especially helpful if you're getting married somewhere in a smaller town or in the country. They usually contain maps and directions to the points of interest and give your visitors a chance to explore someplace they may not have been.

- A local treat. This can range from a local brew (you only need to include 1 bottle of beer per guest) to the town's famous fudge to a genuine Washington apple (if you're getting married in, say, Washington).

- Travel directions from their location to the ceremony/reception. Incredibly easy and cheap to execute and incredibly helpful to your guests and you. (This avoids those 10 phone calls you'd get while getting your hair done of "how do I get there? I left my directions at home.")

And you don't have to make an individual bag for each guest. If there's a couple, 2 friends traveling together, a family, etc. make 1 bag per room. Then put as many items as needed for each member in the bag. You'll save money on the amount of bags, tissue paper, ribbon, etc that you need to purchase.

Most importantly, your guests will be touched that you thought of them and the good karma is priceless.

p.s. Love the bags pictured here? You can get them at Keikigifts' Etsy page!

Raising the Bar

One of the most expensive parts of any party, especially a wedding, is the liquor. Though removing all adult beverages from the affair is a quick way to reduce costs, it can also severely reduce the goodwill and celebratory nature of your guests. So how to keep costs down?

1. The Champagne Toast. Do you need/want this? Some people love this tradition and want to keep it, no matter what the cost. Others are just fine allowing people to toast with their cocktail or meal drink. A happy medium is finding a cheaper substitute for champagne (as cheap champagne gives an instant hangover and is easily spotted a mile away). Prosecco (Italian sparkling wine) is a bit on the sweeter side while Cava (Spanish sparkling wine) is usually more on the drier side.
You can also use something like Welch's sparkling grape juice to really keep the costs down and allow any children or non-drinking guests to join in the toast.

2. The Full Bar. Here's the secret no one tells you: you don't need the full bar. Sure, it's a nice gesture. And yes, who doesn't love to get bombed at a celebratory affair on someone else's tab? But long story short: people will drink whatever you put in front of them - whether the choice is only white or red or they have a full bar to pick from - and they'll be happy so long as you don't run out. It is far better to get 5 kegs of Bud Light and 15 cases of one red wine and allow people to drink their faces off on those choices than to have a time limit on when they can drink. It just reminds them of money and obligations and responsibilities and no one wants that at a party. They just want to be carefree with you and enjoy the moment.
A compromise that some people find useful is providing beer & wine for their guests and allowing the venue to sell any other beverages at their prices to guests who might prefer something else.

3. Bar Staff. Keep it simple and you can keep your bar staff to a minimum (and therefore the staffing & tipping costs down). If you can have bottled beer, twist-off cap wine bottles and a pre-made cocktail (that only needs to be poured over ice or garnished) you can get by with 2 bartenders for 100-150 people and 3 for 150-250. (Another option is to potentially have your servers walk around with pre-made or opened drinks on a tray to help with the initial flood of people at the beginning of the evening.) Keeping the drink list simple also makes the bartenders' set-up and clean-up a lot quicker, thereby limiting the hours you'll need them. And bottled beer (vs keg) cuts down on required glassware as most people will drink bottled beer from the bottle.
One note: bartenders usually like to have a tip jar, either on or below the bar. Some people don't like their guests feeling any pressure to tip, while others have no problem allowing a tip jar for the staff.


4. The Liquor License. One oftentimes forgotten necessity is the liquor license. If you're serving in a venue that doesn't serve alcohol as a form of income, they may not have a liquor license. Unfortunately, you can't cut corners around this. However, you can ask the venue or caterer to fold this into their costs so it's one less issue you have to deal with.

5. The Specialty Cocktail. Unnecessary, but another great compromise to the full bar vs only beer & wine issue. It can also be a playful way to incorporate some personality into the bar: you can play up an homage to the season and your family heritage (glog for a swedish winter wedding) or tip your hat to the locale and its history (mint julep for a summer southern wedding).


Regardless of how you go, hang in there. it can be super stressful but it makes that first married sip that much sweeter.

Theme? What theme?

After the euphoria of the engagement, when you're past the ideal number of guests, budget, and date selection decisions, every vendor, relative and nosy acquaintance starts asking you "what's your theme?" You may think to yourself, "Theme? What theme? It's a wedding. Isn't that theme enough?" Well, sort of.

Because each wedding is an event to show the union of two distinct people and personalities and because there are so many options on how to go about showcasing those people and their union, a "theme" - whether it's a color scheme, a design style or just a grouping of stuff you like can help personalize the event and make it feel like "yours." For instance, if you've been dreaming of the white wedding with full Mass, a carriage ride to the country club and a gold-encrusted reception, then you probably don't want your caterer suggesting finger foods on sticks and your venue asking if you want them to keep the pinball machines available for your guests' use. Likewise, if you and your partner are die-hard anime fans, you might want to use the new wing of the Contemporary Art Museum as your venue instead of the local hunting lodge. Point being, coming up with a "theme" doesn't need to be as epic and mind-numbing as it first can seem.

One place I particularly love to go for inspiration is the arts. What band gets you out of the house for a show? Who do you have hanging on your walls at home? How do you dress on a regular basis? A great site that combines both the visual and aural arts is
WebTVHub.com's listing of 15 Seriously Artistic Indie Album Covers. Aside from being incredibly beautiful in a variety of styles, the music may also inspire ideas of the kind of atmosphere in which you want to celebrate. For example, the Neutral Milk Hotel album cover featured here might inspire a 1920s beach-side carnival wedding.

Another idea-inspiring place is your locale. If you know you want to be in Vermont in the fall, think about what you love about the area: the foliage? The history? All that maple syrup? You might want to go for an outdoor venue if you want to soak up the crisp air and gorgeous fall colors. Or you may want to find a beautiful b&b if you love the charm of the New England architecture. Each locale, season and venue will naturally lend itself to a style or "theme," and you'll barely have any work to do.

Embrace the "theme." You don't even have to call it a theme. Call it your style, because that's what it is. It's the basis for creating a day that is all yours and your partners', that reflects the two of you in each piece of silverware, plasticware or toothpick, and that makes your day special to you two.

Fruit Centerpieces

A simple, cute and affordable way to create your own centerpieces is through using fruit and flowers.

To make one, you will need:

- a clear vase

- fruit of your choice (citrus fruit are a popular option, though grapes can work really well for holding flowers straight, and more exotic fruits like kiwi are fun and unexpected)

- flowers (silk or real - depends how much time you have on the day of to make these)

If you're using tall, long-stemmed flowers you will want to leave your fruit intact (i.e. use whole lemons instead of slicing them) in order to give the flowers a base to stand within. If you're using full heads of flowers (like peonies or sunflowers) you can remove the majority of the stem and slice your fruit to float within the vase.

NOTE: If you are using water (as you will need to if using fresh flowers and/or sliced fruit), beware of the floating to the top issue. With full-headed flowers, the floating will look nice as it will fill the top of the vase. However, make sure you are slicing your fruit different thicknesses so they don't all float to the same place in the vase.

If you want to avoid the floating issue, use silk flowers and whole fruits. Craft stores sell some great silk flowers that will look great both at a distance and up close, and the fruit will allow for a fun contrast if you're trying to work in several colors.

Here Comes Your Man

During a ceremony, it's pretty much a given that everyone watches the procession down the aisle, not the groom at the altar. But while all eyes are on you, you'll be looking at your man. And you know you want him to look good!

Here is a checklist to get your dude in shape for the big day (or for you, if you are said dude):

- Exfoliate: 2-4 weeks before the wedding, continuously up until the wedding day - especially the face. If your man is the rugged, Brawny paper towels type who thinks exfoliation is for ladies who lunch, slap him upside the head and get some some American Crew or Anthony products. They are the dudeliest products on the shelf and some damn good products at that. He'll need to exfoliate his face to make sure he doesn't have any ingrown hairs, zits or razor burn on the day. He should also use a moisturizer after exfoliating to replenish the moisture in his skin. Sephora carries an Anthony Logistics kit that's an all-in-one deal for under $50. Tell him to suck it up. If you can look pretty, so can he.

- Get a suit: anytime up until 2 weeks before the wedding. I know, allowing him the time to procrastinate probably means he will, but just like the dress can be a stressful and time-consuming process so can the suit. A lot of guys won't admit it, but they want to look special and find that perfect-fitting suit. Point him in the direction of District Homme, a retro-styled custom-made suit designer with hot suits that any dude will look amazing in. (The photo here is one of their suits - yum!)

- Get the suit tailored: 2-3 weeks before the wedding. Any more time than this and your guy may gain/lose weight and the suit won't fit. Any less time and the rush fees may seriously add up. A good idea beforehand (if you have the time & cash) is to take a pair of ill-fitting pants to the tailor he thinks he wants to use to see if this is the tailor for him. Better safe than sorry.

- Get some new underwear: 1-2 weeks before the wedding. He won't think he needs this. But for a romantic evening that does not involve that same pair of underwear he's been wearing for the last 3 years, get him to Macy's, TJ Maxx, whatever, and get him a new pair. You'll thank yourself.

- Shave: the morning of the wedding. If he's opting for facial hair, make sure he trims it. Regardless of your personal styles, you'll want him to have his face neat so that you can see his gorgeous mug in your photos!

- Haircut: about 3-5 days before the wedding. You want it to look fresh, but also to give him a chance to work with it, so it doesn't have any freshly cut awkwardness.

- Two bits: just kidding.

...and you're well on your way to a handsome groom and a photogenic wedding day!

Boleros & Shrugs & Shawls, oh my!

When the weather begins to wander into the chillier end of things, a bride can never be too prepared. You don't want to catch cold just before your honeymoon...but how to coordinate practicality with fashion?

Thankfully, there are a variety of shoulder-protecting clothing items to choose from. Especially in the last few years, boleros, shrugs and shawls have made their way back into the formalwear vernacular and can be found almost anywhere that sells evening wear or even business wear (see: Ann Taylor, J. Crew and Banana Republic). White House/Black Market has a plethora of wedding coordinates, including the bolero pictured here. Etsy is chockful of more vintage & indie-styled shrugs ranging from knits to structured pieces to faux furs.

Now there's no excuse to listen to your mother's age-old advice: "put on a coat before you go out!"

Floral Chairs

A beautiful touch to rustic or garden themed ceremonies is tying flowers and fabric around the ceremony chairs.

While tulle tends to work best (it's structural and wide - as well as being affordable), any ribbon or fabric can work.

Assuming you only need to cover a few chairs (say, for parents or honored guests), get 5 yards of tulle.

- Cut the 5 yard piece into 3 sections - this will be enough for 3 tiebacks that drape a bit down the chair. (If you want shorter tiebacks, this will be enough for 4.)

- Wrap the tulle around the chair and bring the end pieces together in the back to tie a knot.

- Fan the tulle out to cover the chair back and tuck the flowers into the knot of the fabric.

Fresh, dried, or silk flowers can all work well for this decor. You can also use non-floral items like balloons or tucking programs into the ribbon. If you do choose fresh flowers, you may want to put each bunch in a water tube to keep them fresh.

Gift Registration: Online vs In-Store

For some people gift registration is the best part of wedding planning.

For others, juggling hectic schedules, navigating inconvenient transportation and trying to manage a checklist that looks like War & Peace can lead directly into the temptation that is online registration. Before you commit yourself (and your partner) to a houseful of grab-bag items, hear me out: go to the store.

I know, I know. It's super inconvenient to try and coordinate your & your partner's schedule or get yourself via 3 buses and a walk through a sketchy neighborhood to the nearest Bed, Bath and Beyond, but trust me - it's the only way to ensure that you are getting what you want.

Having opted for the online registration route myself, I can tell you there were a lot of "we didn't register for this...did we?" or "oh...THAT'S what this looks like??" or "Jesus, that wok weighs a TON!" moments that could have deftly been avoided, had we gone to register in person at the store. (Also, it makes for some super awkward bridal shower moments when you open a gift you've never seen in person and have to immediately fake liking it when, in fact, you think it is the most hideous thing you've ever seen...and have only yourself to blame.)

If one of you is going to try and fly solo at the store registration, make very sure that you have both discussed exactly what you want to register for. I've seen couples that have received gifts from their registry that one person thought the other would love, only to end in an argument over the color of the flatware.

Best case scenario: both of you go to the store and register together. That not being possible, try to sit down together with the online registry, pick out what you like together, then send one of you into the store to double check all the items and make any changes necessary.

Save yourselves the headache of a lot of post-wedding returns and exchanges. If you thought getting to that Bed, Bath and Beyond was inconvenient before, try doing it with a one-ton wok in tow...

Let Them Eat...Candy?

While no one loves cake more than this girl, and it can certainly be a fun and tasty tradition to observe, those who are not so baked-goods-inclined are in luck with this new trend: candy bars! (And no, I don't mean like Snickers.)

Candy bars are popping up at events and weddings as a popular way to provide a more casual dessert option that kids and adults can enjoy. Usually placed near the drink bar (either after dinner or as an all-night option), as many varieties of candies as desired (or as are affordable) can be set in all kinds of fun containers that correspond with the event's theme. Or, you can always opt for the traditional clear, glass candy container! (No need to re-invent the wheel.)

Let's face it: the phrase is "kid in a candy store" for a reason. It's a fun indulgence to be able to grab a handful of jellybeans, gummy bears, malt balls and lollipops, and it's a guest treat that can be far more easily tailored to varying tastes and allergies than a single cake.

SALE!

Who doesn't love a discount, especially on wedding items?

Wedding Paper Divas, an adorable online store outfitted for all your paper needs (programs, menus, invitations, place cards, etc), is currently holding a sale through 9/7/10.

For free shipping, use the code: freeship

For $10, $20 and $40 off specific amount purchases*, use the code: WPDSEPT
*their homepage lists all the details

Check out their site for beautiful designs and quality printing. Having ordered from them myself, I can report a timely delivery and invitations & RSVP cards that looked exactly like they did online.

Bonus: They are also able to accommodate tweaks to their designs if you write them a note when placing your order!

Close to my Art

When attempting to find the perfect gift for a bridal shower, wedding attendants, groom/bride gifts, parent thank-yous, try a piece of art. Many people don't shop for art and most people appreciate a framed piece, especially if it's thoughtful and in their style. (So maybe not a great idea for the bridal shower of your sister-in-law-to-be who you just met a week ago.)

Etsy is a fantastic place to look for interesting, affordable prints and originals. (These Kelli Murray prints are some of my favorites!)

Also, most major cities have some kind of art fair either based in town or that passes through from time to time. (A great traveling fair where you can find everything from home decor to baby clothes is the Renegade Craft Fair.)

If shopping for wedding party attendants, you can get each of them a framed piece of art but you can individualize it so that they each get different prints or even different artists.

Don't be afraid to think outside the box. Your giftee will thank you.