Theme? What theme?

After the euphoria of the engagement, when you're past the ideal number of guests, budget, and date selection decisions, every vendor, relative and nosy acquaintance starts asking you "what's your theme?" You may think to yourself, "Theme? What theme? It's a wedding. Isn't that theme enough?" Well, sort of.

Because each wedding is an event to show the union of two distinct people and personalities and because there are so many options on how to go about showcasing those people and their union, a "theme" - whether it's a color scheme, a design style or just a grouping of stuff you like can help personalize the event and make it feel like "yours." For instance, if you've been dreaming of the white wedding with full Mass, a carriage ride to the country club and a gold-encrusted reception, then you probably don't want your caterer suggesting finger foods on sticks and your venue asking if you want them to keep the pinball machines available for your guests' use. Likewise, if you and your partner are die-hard anime fans, you might want to use the new wing of the Contemporary Art Museum as your venue instead of the local hunting lodge. Point being, coming up with a "theme" doesn't need to be as epic and mind-numbing as it first can seem.

One place I particularly love to go for inspiration is the arts. What band gets you out of the house for a show? Who do you have hanging on your walls at home? How do you dress on a regular basis? A great site that combines both the visual and aural arts is
WebTVHub.com's listing of 15 Seriously Artistic Indie Album Covers. Aside from being incredibly beautiful in a variety of styles, the music may also inspire ideas of the kind of atmosphere in which you want to celebrate. For example, the Neutral Milk Hotel album cover featured here might inspire a 1920s beach-side carnival wedding.

Another idea-inspiring place is your locale. If you know you want to be in Vermont in the fall, think about what you love about the area: the foliage? The history? All that maple syrup? You might want to go for an outdoor venue if you want to soak up the crisp air and gorgeous fall colors. Or you may want to find a beautiful b&b if you love the charm of the New England architecture. Each locale, season and venue will naturally lend itself to a style or "theme," and you'll barely have any work to do.

Embrace the "theme." You don't even have to call it a theme. Call it your style, because that's what it is. It's the basis for creating a day that is all yours and your partners', that reflects the two of you in each piece of silverware, plasticware or toothpick, and that makes your day special to you two.

Minimums Are Not Your Friend

I probably don't need to tell you this but minimums are not a good idea. Whenever possible, avoid them at all costs.

A little story to emphasize the point: a dear friend of mine is getting married in upstate NY in June. In her dream wedding stupor, she signed a venue/catering contract that required a guest minimum. This didn't seem like a big deal at the time as the minimum is 135 guests and she invited 180. AND those 180 were attempting to bring children who were not invited. But here we are, the middle of May, and she is now panicking, trying to come up with warm bodies to meet the minimum to which she committed.

Point being, if a vendor wants you to commit to a minimum, do NOT tell them how many people you're inviting - they will try to convince you of a higher minimum that may land you in the situation above. Tell them you can commit to a minimum that's 50-60% of your guest list, even though you can typically expect 70-80% of your guest list to attend. Or just avoid the minimum altogether.