Best. Invite. Ever.

You Must be Kid-ding

Deciding if children will be allowed is almost always a big decision. However you feel about having children at a wedding, it is an increased cost and can be increased planning. (I mean, you have to have SOME means of entertaining them - and no, giving them cake and seating them near your gifts is not enough of a plan.) So for those who decide not to have children at the wedding, how do you tell people politely?

One friend, as I've mentioned before, handwrote in every invited guest's name on the RSVP line so as to avoid confusion on who was invited.

Another friend wrote an FAQ portion of her printed invites with this verbiage for children:

Q. Is this an all ages event?
A. Unfortunately, the size of the venue, general "adult nature" of the wedding and reception limit the attendance. We know that this may be a turn-off for some, but we sincerely hope that it won't prevent you from coming to celebrate with us. We will try to help you arrange convenient childcare for the evening. And who knows... that option might end up being more popular and fun than the wedding and reception themselves.

If you read my RSVP post, you know I left myself wide open for people just telling us how many extra guests they'd be bringing. As such, we ended up having a lot of post-invite conversations and finally decided to allow family to bring children, but no one else (despite the fact that we intended on not allowing children, period).

If you decide to allow some children but not all, make sure there are clear demarcations (like siblings' kids only, etc) so that other people are clearly understand (and are not cornering you) why you aren't allowing their children to come.

Wedding Hair

Magazines, blogs, people will tell you: do a run-through of your hair with your stylist prior to the big day. All well and good, unless you're a) on a budget and b) your stylist is any good and costs more than $20 for the run-through. So what then?

My advice: book a normal cut or color with your stylist sometime before the wedding. (Chances are, you're going to need some kind of hair appointment in the 6 months prior to your wedding.) Make sure before you go in for your appointment that you've done your research on a couple of styles you like and at least know if you're going to have some kind of hair piece or veil. Try to do a version of the style you're thinking about when you go in. Bring your veil or a photo of your hair decor with you as well as a photo of the style you were trying to replicate. Before you get started on your normal appointment business, spend 5 minutes briefing the stylist on your thoughts for the big day. Obviously, this doesn't take the place of a full run-through. But it gives your stylist a heads up and allows him or her to steer you clear of any hair disasters that are going to leave you sorely disappointed.

Note: make sure you give your stylist an extra tip on your normal hair business appointment in consideration for their expertise and consultation. It's a nice gesture, good karma and will help motivate their memory of your discussion.

RSVPs: Do Not Do This

Please, please, please: learn from my mistake. I thought it was ingenious to add this little "__ # Attending" box so that if one member of the couple couldn't make it they could fill out the right number.

Wrong.

This little box has served for nothing but migraines and countless awkward conversations beginning with "we'd love to have you bring your kids/flavor of the week/paid escort, but we're keeping the wedding intimate due to venue size and it's just not feasible."

Next time my fiance and I get married, I'm definitely NOT including that box and definitely AM handwriting in every invited guest's name into the M__________ line. A friend of mine did that and she definitely had FAR less people calling to ask about bringing uninvited guests and NONE that just wrote them in like hobos. Sheesh.

Table Number Fun

If you saw my previous centerpiece post, you know that I am trying to use DIY record bowls as the basis for my centerpiece. This can quite easily go into ticky-tacky-kindergarten-craft-land. So in an attempt to make the tables look cohesive, I've decided to use 45s with DVD labels as my table numbers.

I thought this was a brilliant idea until I realized a) the DVD labels covered too much of the record and I'd have to somehow slice out the center to match the 45 and b) the memo clip holders I bought to hold the table numbers work great for paper but not for something as heavy as a small record.

I scrounged around and using the magic of nail scissors I was able to slice the center of the DVD labels without tearing the labels. And by pulling the metal clip part of a binder clip out, I was able to make a stand for the 45 that looks super incognito.

Now I have a cohesive table setting! Or at least the beginnings of one...

Minimums Are Not Your Friend

I probably don't need to tell you this but minimums are not a good idea. Whenever possible, avoid them at all costs.

A little story to emphasize the point: a dear friend of mine is getting married in upstate NY in June. In her dream wedding stupor, she signed a venue/catering contract that required a guest minimum. This didn't seem like a big deal at the time as the minimum is 135 guests and she invited 180. AND those 180 were attempting to bring children who were not invited. But here we are, the middle of May, and she is now panicking, trying to come up with warm bodies to meet the minimum to which she committed.

Point being, if a vendor wants you to commit to a minimum, do NOT tell them how many people you're inviting - they will try to convince you of a higher minimum that may land you in the situation above. Tell them you can commit to a minimum that's 50-60% of your guest list, even though you can typically expect 70-80% of your guest list to attend. Or just avoid the minimum altogether.

Vinyl Record Bowl Centerpieces (or Fuck the Flowers)

As you may have noticed from a tweet last week, I am completely obsessed with record bowl making. What prompted this, you may ask. I'll tell you: flowers are freaking expensive.

If you are planning a wedding, a wake, a large-scale mother's day event or an epic apology, you may already know this.

If you are, as I was, a novice to the whole floral industry, it may shock you to find out that if you want anything beyond what the Piggly-Wiggly is carrying that day, you will be asked to pay in first-born children. Because of a long story that I will not bore you with here, I am obliged to have flowers for my and my bridesmaids' bouquets. I selected a single rose "bouquet" for each of 3 ladies. The total was $60. For 3 roses. Yup. And that is CHEAPSIES, friends.

Because I am not a millionaire nor insane, I decided that there had to be a more budget-friendly and interesting non-floral centerpiece that I could create. Knowing my and my boyfriend's love of music, as well as our black & white theme (sidebar: why does anyone NEED a theme? isn't getting married enough?) a friend of mine suggested vinyl record bowls.

I have been obsessed ever since.

So I thought I'd help out and post some instructions in case you too want these little babies on your tables - event, home or otherwise.

RECORD BOWL INSTRUCTIONS*

* Each oven is different. I recommend trying with a record you don't mind ruining first, then moving on to the "real" record(s).

(If you do not have a cookie tray, line your oven rack with aluminum foil before beginning.)

Pre-heat the oven to 210 degrees Farenheit.

Place your record on a ceramic bowl that is large enough for the record to balance on easily but still small enough that the record will be able to hang over the edge a bit as it gets warm and plyable.

Place the ceramic bowl on a cookie tray or the aluminum foil. If you put it on the cookie tray, put the cookie tray in the oven. (If you put it on the foil, your bowl is already in the oven. And if you need me to point that out, you should probably have some supervision.)

Keep the record in the oven for about 5-8 minutes. KEEP AN EYE ON IT. Seriously. Once the record starts folding down towards the cookie sheet or foil it is plyable.

Remove the cookie sheet/ceramic bowl from the oven. Place it on a towel or safe surface. Use a small ceramic mug or bowl to press down in the center of the record so that the record falls inside the ceramic bowl and folds up around the smaller mug or bowl. (See photo at top of this posting for what it should look like.)

Let it hang out for about 10 minutes until completely cooled.

Bowl made.

Hope you enjoy this!!!

(p.s. my boyfriend is totally singing "feed my breast" to the tune of beauty & the beast's "be my guest" while i write this. ladies and gentleman: the man with whom i will be spending the rest of my life.)

Hotel Blocks (aka the Bane of My Existence)

Lesson of the day from yesterday: no matter who tells you they won't be able to make it when you send out the save the date or that they'll be driving and not spending the night near your wedding - don't believe them.

Chances are, they will change their minds. And then you wind up with your mother calling you long distance from another country (or state) where she lives crying that she didn't book the room in time and now they're out and you have to call the hotel and negotiate more rooms, if that's even possible, because the insane amount that you set aside is now sold out and she will be on the street unless you do something.

No pressure.

So, please. Learn from the error of my ways. If you think 5 people are going to show up, book 40 rooms. And make sure you are not responsible for paying for any of them. (Just in case it swings the other way...)

A Quick Breather

So my boyfriend has been housesitting for the last couple of days and I gotta say - it's kind of nice. It's bringing back the magic for a couple who lives together and has been caught up in the pettiness of how many people we can fit in the reception area and what the cake-cutting song should be. It has given me a chance to actually miss him again - and for him to miss me.

Also, now I get to watch all the L&O and America's Next Top Model I can handle without anyone judging my junk TV intake. Sweet.

60 Days

Here I am... slowly losing my mind.

About 8 months ago I got engaged to a kick-ass dude - someone that thinks my inappropriate jokes are hilarious, my Patsy-and-Adina velour sweats that my mom gave me are flattering, and that I am just generally a genius. The whole engagement thing took some getting used to as, for the most part, I just figured I'd just live with my boyfriend forever and not bother going through the legal and financial rigamarole of the wedding process. That went out the window pretty quickly - especially when I was staring down the barrel of a heart-felt proposal.

So I tried to change my tune: I've been to weddings. I've been IN weddings. Weddings are fun, they're a reflection of the couple that's getting married, a celebration of- oh, who am I kidding? Weddings are the reason I never wanted to get married. They are a total hassle, completely nonsensical and make everyone you know - and even those you don't - completely insane.

Despite my career as a producer - live events and otherwise - I was not prepared for the emotional insanity that would ensue with my family, my boyfriend's family, my friends, my parents' friends - you get the idea. So far I've had my mother add at least 1 additional couple to the guest list each week for the last 2 months, my boyfriend's cousin call to inform us that we must have mislabeled the invitation and she will in fact be bringing her 7 children, and a dear friend (who's getting married 2 weeks before me) ask me to move my wedding to Spring of 2011. I shit you not: people get crazy.

On the plus side, I have managed to, thus far, use my producing skills to negotiate the shit out of vendors' services, my coupon-clipping penchant for procuring discounts on wares and my DIY craftiness to learn and make most every decoration in the venue. Still, with the last two months being where the budget tends to fly out the window with the "let's just get it done - what's another $200" mentality, I've decided to start documenting the chaos. Hopefully not only to keep me in line, but to help anyone else that might need an idea or two.

60 days and counting (as per www.theknot.com checklist - an obnoxious yet annoyingly helpful tool for anyone planning a wedding).

There has to be an easier way to throw a wedding. And I'm determined to find it.