Places to Rock Your Wedding

There are hundreds of places you could choose to get married in Chicago. There are museums, rock clubs, shady alleyways, that rooftop you snuck onto last week after a few too many beers... How's a girl or guy to pick?

We got you. Here's a list of a few of our favorites:

The Bottom Lounge, West Loop. A kick-ass rock bar with an upstairs & balcony for private parties. They can make it as rock or clean as you want. They also have bonuses like an amazing staff, a photo booth and pinball machines you can use. Score!

Garfield Park Conservatory, Garfield Park. One of the most gorgeous botanical gardens Chicago can boast in the city proper. The Horticulture Hall is the perfect location for an intimate ceremony & reception with the showers of greenery all around you and the arching greenhouse windows - even in the winter! And if you don't mind planning ahead with the city applications, it's pretty affordable.

Architectural Artifacts, Ravenswood. A kitschy 3-floor collection of antiques that include a piano you can use, antique stained glass windows and a floor full of vintage couches and chairs for wandering guests who want to cuddle makes this place rule for a large gathering. And with access to the back patio, you can even have an outdoor ceremony (potentially on a merry-go-round!) without having to figure out transportation for guests from one location to another.

Prairie Production, West Loop. This photo studio by day/event space by night is the perfect location for the couple with a vision. Their open loft space is white & concrete with a ridiculously high ceiling and equally tall all-glass wall, leaving you to fill this blank canvas with your wildest dreams. Extra bonuses: outdoor patio for smoking guests, you can bring in your own liquor and the owners are some of the most reasonable people in the events industry.

You're Not Alone

This chick is a girl after my own heart. I'm pretty sure we've all had this conversation with at least one member of our family while planning our awesome rock bar/ planetarium/ roller derby wedding. www.blaghag.com/2010/08/sometimes-i-forget-that-not-everyone-is.html

Jill & Matthew's Rustic Rock Fall Wedding!

How They Met: These adorable darlings met when Jill posted an extra ticket to Ryan Adams on Craigslist. Matthew was the first one to respond that he wanted it, and they ended up sitting next to each and chatting through the concert. They exchanged numbers after the show and couldn't stop chatting that night. The rest, as they say, is history.

Their Theme: They chose fall colors for their September wedding and labeled each table after a concert they had been to together. It fit perfectly with the rock-club venue of the Bottom Lounge, in the West Loop of Chicago.

Thanks: These guys were super mellow and very crafty (they made all the candle holders out of wine bottles! All of them!!). We are so happy to have worked with them on their incredibly special day. Love you guys!

Welcome. Have a bag.

A sweet, but totally financially draining, tradition is the welcome bag for out of town guests. Why, oh why, must you spend even more money on people who will be enjoying the fruits of your labor at your wedding? Simply put? It's your wedding. You are getting enjoyment out of it. They are spending a boatload of cash to fly out, stay at a hotel, rent a car, find a babysitter for the kids/dog/fish, and buy you a gift so the least you can do for these friends & family making the extra effort is say a special thank you for their commitment to your friendship.

That being said, you don't have to go broke with the welcome bags. Here are some fun things to include that will not break the bank:

- Transportation Maps. If you're getting married in a city, these are a lifesaver for out-of-towners and usually free. Just pick some up at your local subway or bus stop.

- Time Out [insert city here]. These magazines are great and have a zillion things to do that will keep your family & friends from trying to spend time with you when you're trying to prep for the wedding.

- A Transportation Fare Card. Again, super useful, relatively cheap (depending on how many people you're buying for), and keeps people out of your hair and lets them explore the city.

- Brochures for the area. These are especially helpful if you're getting married somewhere in a smaller town or in the country. They usually contain maps and directions to the points of interest and give your visitors a chance to explore someplace they may not have been.

- A local treat. This can range from a local brew (you only need to include 1 bottle of beer per guest) to the town's famous fudge to a genuine Washington apple (if you're getting married in, say, Washington).

- Travel directions from their location to the ceremony/reception. Incredibly easy and cheap to execute and incredibly helpful to your guests and you. (This avoids those 10 phone calls you'd get while getting your hair done of "how do I get there? I left my directions at home.")

And you don't have to make an individual bag for each guest. If there's a couple, 2 friends traveling together, a family, etc. make 1 bag per room. Then put as many items as needed for each member in the bag. You'll save money on the amount of bags, tissue paper, ribbon, etc that you need to purchase.

Most importantly, your guests will be touched that you thought of them and the good karma is priceless.

p.s. Love the bags pictured here? You can get them at Keikigifts' Etsy page!

Raising the Bar

One of the most expensive parts of any party, especially a wedding, is the liquor. Though removing all adult beverages from the affair is a quick way to reduce costs, it can also severely reduce the goodwill and celebratory nature of your guests. So how to keep costs down?

1. The Champagne Toast. Do you need/want this? Some people love this tradition and want to keep it, no matter what the cost. Others are just fine allowing people to toast with their cocktail or meal drink. A happy medium is finding a cheaper substitute for champagne (as cheap champagne gives an instant hangover and is easily spotted a mile away). Prosecco (Italian sparkling wine) is a bit on the sweeter side while Cava (Spanish sparkling wine) is usually more on the drier side.
You can also use something like Welch's sparkling grape juice to really keep the costs down and allow any children or non-drinking guests to join in the toast.

2. The Full Bar. Here's the secret no one tells you: you don't need the full bar. Sure, it's a nice gesture. And yes, who doesn't love to get bombed at a celebratory affair on someone else's tab? But long story short: people will drink whatever you put in front of them - whether the choice is only white or red or they have a full bar to pick from - and they'll be happy so long as you don't run out. It is far better to get 5 kegs of Bud Light and 15 cases of one red wine and allow people to drink their faces off on those choices than to have a time limit on when they can drink. It just reminds them of money and obligations and responsibilities and no one wants that at a party. They just want to be carefree with you and enjoy the moment.
A compromise that some people find useful is providing beer & wine for their guests and allowing the venue to sell any other beverages at their prices to guests who might prefer something else.

3. Bar Staff. Keep it simple and you can keep your bar staff to a minimum (and therefore the staffing & tipping costs down). If you can have bottled beer, twist-off cap wine bottles and a pre-made cocktail (that only needs to be poured over ice or garnished) you can get by with 2 bartenders for 100-150 people and 3 for 150-250. (Another option is to potentially have your servers walk around with pre-made or opened drinks on a tray to help with the initial flood of people at the beginning of the evening.) Keeping the drink list simple also makes the bartenders' set-up and clean-up a lot quicker, thereby limiting the hours you'll need them. And bottled beer (vs keg) cuts down on required glassware as most people will drink bottled beer from the bottle.
One note: bartenders usually like to have a tip jar, either on or below the bar. Some people don't like their guests feeling any pressure to tip, while others have no problem allowing a tip jar for the staff.


4. The Liquor License. One oftentimes forgotten necessity is the liquor license. If you're serving in a venue that doesn't serve alcohol as a form of income, they may not have a liquor license. Unfortunately, you can't cut corners around this. However, you can ask the venue or caterer to fold this into their costs so it's one less issue you have to deal with.

5. The Specialty Cocktail. Unnecessary, but another great compromise to the full bar vs only beer & wine issue. It can also be a playful way to incorporate some personality into the bar: you can play up an homage to the season and your family heritage (glog for a swedish winter wedding) or tip your hat to the locale and its history (mint julep for a summer southern wedding).


Regardless of how you go, hang in there. it can be super stressful but it makes that first married sip that much sweeter.

Theme? What theme?

After the euphoria of the engagement, when you're past the ideal number of guests, budget, and date selection decisions, every vendor, relative and nosy acquaintance starts asking you "what's your theme?" You may think to yourself, "Theme? What theme? It's a wedding. Isn't that theme enough?" Well, sort of.

Because each wedding is an event to show the union of two distinct people and personalities and because there are so many options on how to go about showcasing those people and their union, a "theme" - whether it's a color scheme, a design style or just a grouping of stuff you like can help personalize the event and make it feel like "yours." For instance, if you've been dreaming of the white wedding with full Mass, a carriage ride to the country club and a gold-encrusted reception, then you probably don't want your caterer suggesting finger foods on sticks and your venue asking if you want them to keep the pinball machines available for your guests' use. Likewise, if you and your partner are die-hard anime fans, you might want to use the new wing of the Contemporary Art Museum as your venue instead of the local hunting lodge. Point being, coming up with a "theme" doesn't need to be as epic and mind-numbing as it first can seem.

One place I particularly love to go for inspiration is the arts. What band gets you out of the house for a show? Who do you have hanging on your walls at home? How do you dress on a regular basis? A great site that combines both the visual and aural arts is
WebTVHub.com's listing of 15 Seriously Artistic Indie Album Covers. Aside from being incredibly beautiful in a variety of styles, the music may also inspire ideas of the kind of atmosphere in which you want to celebrate. For example, the Neutral Milk Hotel album cover featured here might inspire a 1920s beach-side carnival wedding.

Another idea-inspiring place is your locale. If you know you want to be in Vermont in the fall, think about what you love about the area: the foliage? The history? All that maple syrup? You might want to go for an outdoor venue if you want to soak up the crisp air and gorgeous fall colors. Or you may want to find a beautiful b&b if you love the charm of the New England architecture. Each locale, season and venue will naturally lend itself to a style or "theme," and you'll barely have any work to do.

Embrace the "theme." You don't even have to call it a theme. Call it your style, because that's what it is. It's the basis for creating a day that is all yours and your partners', that reflects the two of you in each piece of silverware, plasticware or toothpick, and that makes your day special to you two.

Fruit Centerpieces

A simple, cute and affordable way to create your own centerpieces is through using fruit and flowers.

To make one, you will need:

- a clear vase

- fruit of your choice (citrus fruit are a popular option, though grapes can work really well for holding flowers straight, and more exotic fruits like kiwi are fun and unexpected)

- flowers (silk or real - depends how much time you have on the day of to make these)

If you're using tall, long-stemmed flowers you will want to leave your fruit intact (i.e. use whole lemons instead of slicing them) in order to give the flowers a base to stand within. If you're using full heads of flowers (like peonies or sunflowers) you can remove the majority of the stem and slice your fruit to float within the vase.

NOTE: If you are using water (as you will need to if using fresh flowers and/or sliced fruit), beware of the floating to the top issue. With full-headed flowers, the floating will look nice as it will fill the top of the vase. However, make sure you are slicing your fruit different thicknesses so they don't all float to the same place in the vase.

If you want to avoid the floating issue, use silk flowers and whole fruits. Craft stores sell some great silk flowers that will look great both at a distance and up close, and the fruit will allow for a fun contrast if you're trying to work in several colors.

Here Comes Your Man

During a ceremony, it's pretty much a given that everyone watches the procession down the aisle, not the groom at the altar. But while all eyes are on you, you'll be looking at your man. And you know you want him to look good!

Here is a checklist to get your dude in shape for the big day (or for you, if you are said dude):

- Exfoliate: 2-4 weeks before the wedding, continuously up until the wedding day - especially the face. If your man is the rugged, Brawny paper towels type who thinks exfoliation is for ladies who lunch, slap him upside the head and get some some American Crew or Anthony products. They are the dudeliest products on the shelf and some damn good products at that. He'll need to exfoliate his face to make sure he doesn't have any ingrown hairs, zits or razor burn on the day. He should also use a moisturizer after exfoliating to replenish the moisture in his skin. Sephora carries an Anthony Logistics kit that's an all-in-one deal for under $50. Tell him to suck it up. If you can look pretty, so can he.

- Get a suit: anytime up until 2 weeks before the wedding. I know, allowing him the time to procrastinate probably means he will, but just like the dress can be a stressful and time-consuming process so can the suit. A lot of guys won't admit it, but they want to look special and find that perfect-fitting suit. Point him in the direction of District Homme, a retro-styled custom-made suit designer with hot suits that any dude will look amazing in. (The photo here is one of their suits - yum!)

- Get the suit tailored: 2-3 weeks before the wedding. Any more time than this and your guy may gain/lose weight and the suit won't fit. Any less time and the rush fees may seriously add up. A good idea beforehand (if you have the time & cash) is to take a pair of ill-fitting pants to the tailor he thinks he wants to use to see if this is the tailor for him. Better safe than sorry.

- Get some new underwear: 1-2 weeks before the wedding. He won't think he needs this. But for a romantic evening that does not involve that same pair of underwear he's been wearing for the last 3 years, get him to Macy's, TJ Maxx, whatever, and get him a new pair. You'll thank yourself.

- Shave: the morning of the wedding. If he's opting for facial hair, make sure he trims it. Regardless of your personal styles, you'll want him to have his face neat so that you can see his gorgeous mug in your photos!

- Haircut: about 3-5 days before the wedding. You want it to look fresh, but also to give him a chance to work with it, so it doesn't have any freshly cut awkwardness.

- Two bits: just kidding.

...and you're well on your way to a handsome groom and a photogenic wedding day!

Boleros & Shrugs & Shawls, oh my!

When the weather begins to wander into the chillier end of things, a bride can never be too prepared. You don't want to catch cold just before your honeymoon...but how to coordinate practicality with fashion?

Thankfully, there are a variety of shoulder-protecting clothing items to choose from. Especially in the last few years, boleros, shrugs and shawls have made their way back into the formalwear vernacular and can be found almost anywhere that sells evening wear or even business wear (see: Ann Taylor, J. Crew and Banana Republic). White House/Black Market has a plethora of wedding coordinates, including the bolero pictured here. Etsy is chockful of more vintage & indie-styled shrugs ranging from knits to structured pieces to faux furs.

Now there's no excuse to listen to your mother's age-old advice: "put on a coat before you go out!"

Floral Chairs

A beautiful touch to rustic or garden themed ceremonies is tying flowers and fabric around the ceremony chairs.

While tulle tends to work best (it's structural and wide - as well as being affordable), any ribbon or fabric can work.

Assuming you only need to cover a few chairs (say, for parents or honored guests), get 5 yards of tulle.

- Cut the 5 yard piece into 3 sections - this will be enough for 3 tiebacks that drape a bit down the chair. (If you want shorter tiebacks, this will be enough for 4.)

- Wrap the tulle around the chair and bring the end pieces together in the back to tie a knot.

- Fan the tulle out to cover the chair back and tuck the flowers into the knot of the fabric.

Fresh, dried, or silk flowers can all work well for this decor. You can also use non-floral items like balloons or tucking programs into the ribbon. If you do choose fresh flowers, you may want to put each bunch in a water tube to keep them fresh.

Gift Registration: Online vs In-Store

For some people gift registration is the best part of wedding planning.

For others, juggling hectic schedules, navigating inconvenient transportation and trying to manage a checklist that looks like War & Peace can lead directly into the temptation that is online registration. Before you commit yourself (and your partner) to a houseful of grab-bag items, hear me out: go to the store.

I know, I know. It's super inconvenient to try and coordinate your & your partner's schedule or get yourself via 3 buses and a walk through a sketchy neighborhood to the nearest Bed, Bath and Beyond, but trust me - it's the only way to ensure that you are getting what you want.

Having opted for the online registration route myself, I can tell you there were a lot of "we didn't register for this...did we?" or "oh...THAT'S what this looks like??" or "Jesus, that wok weighs a TON!" moments that could have deftly been avoided, had we gone to register in person at the store. (Also, it makes for some super awkward bridal shower moments when you open a gift you've never seen in person and have to immediately fake liking it when, in fact, you think it is the most hideous thing you've ever seen...and have only yourself to blame.)

If one of you is going to try and fly solo at the store registration, make very sure that you have both discussed exactly what you want to register for. I've seen couples that have received gifts from their registry that one person thought the other would love, only to end in an argument over the color of the flatware.

Best case scenario: both of you go to the store and register together. That not being possible, try to sit down together with the online registry, pick out what you like together, then send one of you into the store to double check all the items and make any changes necessary.

Save yourselves the headache of a lot of post-wedding returns and exchanges. If you thought getting to that Bed, Bath and Beyond was inconvenient before, try doing it with a one-ton wok in tow...

Let Them Eat...Candy?

While no one loves cake more than this girl, and it can certainly be a fun and tasty tradition to observe, those who are not so baked-goods-inclined are in luck with this new trend: candy bars! (And no, I don't mean like Snickers.)

Candy bars are popping up at events and weddings as a popular way to provide a more casual dessert option that kids and adults can enjoy. Usually placed near the drink bar (either after dinner or as an all-night option), as many varieties of candies as desired (or as are affordable) can be set in all kinds of fun containers that correspond with the event's theme. Or, you can always opt for the traditional clear, glass candy container! (No need to re-invent the wheel.)

Let's face it: the phrase is "kid in a candy store" for a reason. It's a fun indulgence to be able to grab a handful of jellybeans, gummy bears, malt balls and lollipops, and it's a guest treat that can be far more easily tailored to varying tastes and allergies than a single cake.

SALE!

Who doesn't love a discount, especially on wedding items?

Wedding Paper Divas, an adorable online store outfitted for all your paper needs (programs, menus, invitations, place cards, etc), is currently holding a sale through 9/7/10.

For free shipping, use the code: freeship

For $10, $20 and $40 off specific amount purchases*, use the code: WPDSEPT
*their homepage lists all the details

Check out their site for beautiful designs and quality printing. Having ordered from them myself, I can report a timely delivery and invitations & RSVP cards that looked exactly like they did online.

Bonus: They are also able to accommodate tweaks to their designs if you write them a note when placing your order!

Close to my Art

When attempting to find the perfect gift for a bridal shower, wedding attendants, groom/bride gifts, parent thank-yous, try a piece of art. Many people don't shop for art and most people appreciate a framed piece, especially if it's thoughtful and in their style. (So maybe not a great idea for the bridal shower of your sister-in-law-to-be who you just met a week ago.)

Etsy is a fantastic place to look for interesting, affordable prints and originals. (These Kelli Murray prints are some of my favorites!)

Also, most major cities have some kind of art fair either based in town or that passes through from time to time. (A great traveling fair where you can find everything from home decor to baby clothes is the Renegade Craft Fair.)

If shopping for wedding party attendants, you can get each of them a framed piece of art but you can individualize it so that they each get different prints or even different artists.

Don't be afraid to think outside the box. Your giftee will thank you.

Hair Today, Fall Tomorrow

Some of the top trends for Fall '10 hair are blessedly DIY-friendly, a boon for any trend-spotting bride or bridesmaid on a budget.

Take this curly bob. It's a simple style for straight or curly-haired ladies who love a little casual ease to their style.

For curly-haired ladies:

- Wash and either air-dry your hair or use a diffuser, scrunching upwards underneath the top layer to dry it to completion. A leave-in mousse-gel combo will smooth frizzies and flyaways without weighing down the hair too much. Ouidad makes specifically curly-hair-friendly products that work wonders.

- Use a round brush to smooth the top of your hair, if you like the smooth roots look that these models are sporting. Note: If you do smooth the roots, make sure you tease underneath the smooth area though to create volume. Otherwise, you may wind up with something that looks like bad hat hair.

- Use a hot flat-iron to flatten the ends of your hair. It's okay to leave some ends fully curled. The idea is to give it a lived-in look.

- If your hair is still laying a bit close to your head, tease the under-layers to create more volume around the head.

For straight-haired ladies, the folks on becomegorgeous.com do a fabulous job of explaining the details of this style for you. You can also find other fall hair trends on their site.

* As with any event hair, make sure you practice before the big day to ensure you can do it and it looks good.

Mason Jar Decor

Whether planning a garden party-themed summer wedding, a rustic fall wedding or an elegant glass-centered winter wonderland wedding, mason jars can be a budget-friendly way to create warm lighting, charming decor and memorable favors.

I'm sure you're familiar with the classic and beautiful flowers-in-mason-jar centerpiece. Both wildflowers arranged by the wedding party or family or professionally arranged flowers look fantastic in mason jars and give a homey welcome to the event.

They can also be used as table lighting with a little bit of sand (colored or natural), stones or shells as a base for votive candles. This inviting lighting allows for a protected open flame at the table and less (potentially more costly) lighting elsewhere.

Another option for lighting is hanging lanterns. This involves slightly more DIY-work on your part, but are a great option if you're going with an outdoor wedding. P. Allen Smith has a great how-to on their website: www.pallensmith.com

And never underestimate the charm of using them for guest favors. Use your imagination to showcase the wedding locale or your personalities through a small mason jar full of items like:

- local jam (ex: huckleberry jam in Montana)
- a favorite candy (or candies in the color of the wedding)
- soil & a planted seed (for a green-themed wedding)
- local flowers petals (to evolve into potpourri; also involves a bit more DIY)

The options are endless!

Justifying Tradition

Never one to accept and perform a tradition simply for the fact that it's a tradition, I absolutely love Jennifer Grabenstetter's blog post on the real history of several wedding traditions: http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/15969

It may give you that extra ammo you need to convince your mother that wearing red is actually perfectly acceptable as a wedding dress.

DIY Hair: 1930's finger waves

Who doesn't love saving some cash and still coming up with a gorgeous and special hairdo, whether you're a bride, a bridesmaid or a stylish guest?

This is actually a pretty clear tutorial on doing finger waves (a look that requires a few run-throughs but can look great on any kind or length of hair):

Scenic vs Practical

Yet another reason to really think through the placement of your ceremony and weigh out the beauty vs practicality of the location.

Upgrading Awesomeness

One of the best things about getting married is that most people get super excited for you and want to give you free stuff. Yep. FREE!

Never underestimate the power of mentioning "we're getting married this weekend," or "this is actually for my wedding," or "we are so excited to be spending our honeymoon here." You can get everything from free upgrades (check out the suite with 2 bathrooms!!! that we got upgraded to over our wedding weekend) to freebie additions (free eyebrow threading with a bikini wax) to just plain freebies (a bagful of airline snacks & mini liquor bottles from a stewardess) just by mentioning the "wedding" or "honeymoon" words.

Especially if you're on a budget, you have nothing to lose by giving it a whirl. Just make sure that you're super sweet, sincere in your excitement and don't expect anything - people can sense it when you're trying to get something out of them. But drop it into casual conversation - you never know where it will take you. (Penthouse, anyone??)

What's in a Name?

If you haven't already started getting the "are you changing your name" question yet - don't worry, it will come. Friends, family, neighbors, hair stylists, bankers, grocery store cashiers - anyone who notices your engagement ring will probably eventually ask you "So, are you taking his name or keeping yours?"

For some people, this is an easy decision. ("Of course, I'm keeping my name. No girl named Izzie is taking the last name Gaye.") For others, it may be a bit of a struggle. There is a desire to feel truly connected to your partner, to feel like you're moving forward as one. There is also sometimes the desire to feel like you're not losing your identity or perhaps to avoid the logistical hassle of changing your name, especially if your career revolves around the name you currently have.

Regardless, make sure to discuss the name change - or lack thereof - with your partner. A surprising number of couples have no idea where the other partner stands on this topic - even when the ceremony is closing in on them! You want to make sure this discussion is fully decided before having awkward conversations in front of guests asking this question (and they will) at your reception.

Whatever decision you make, inform your family and wedding party. They will be able to help spread the word to guests - to avoid your having to answer the same question again and again, as well as avoiding receiving gift checks with the wrong name on the "to" line. (Even if you do get checks with the incorrect names on the "to" line, don't worry - if you take your marriage certificate to the bank, your banker will be able to figure out a way for you to deposit those checks.)

The Dog Days of Weddings

If you have a pet that holds a special place in the heart of you and your partner, you may have started considering involving that pet in your ceremony. Some people enjoy the option of having said pet as a ring-bearer or a best man or having them accompany a mother or guest down the aisle.

If you are going to involve your pet, here are some things to consider:

- Where will the pet be prior to the ceremony? (Waiting in the wings with the bridal party? Mingling amongst the guests?)

- How will the pet get to/from the ceremony?

- Who will signal the pet to his/her cue?

- Is the pet trained/well-behaved/socialized enough to be amongst a crowd of people and follow his orders - especially if those orders are given by someone other than the bride or groom (as they will most likely be kind of, um, busy)?

- Will the pet stay still during the ceremony? If not, where will he/she sit during the ceremony?

- Will the pet have any special attire? (Some people enjoy a full matching wedding party outfit for their involved pet. Others choose a more simplistic, natural look.)

- Are there any guests with allergies or fears of the kind of animal your pet is?

Pets are adorable and loveable, but sometimes a wedding just isn't the place for them. Other ways to include them are photos of them on the walls or as part of the centerpieces. Or they can be part of the favors (i.e. cat-shaped cookies with the bride & groom's name on them, your dog's photo on the magnet with your wedding info printed on it, etc). If your pet can't be there in "person," don't despair - there are plenty of options!

KISS and Make-Up

When it comes to wedding make-up, I think the old construction acronym KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid) is a fitting motto. No one wants to end up looking like a drag queen on their wedding day. Unless you are a drag queen, in which case, girl - you don't need my advice.

A few things to avoid:

- Fake Tanner/Bronzer: it can make you look orange, like you're wearing super heavy make-up, give you a chin line and/or make up exceptionally out of place in your own photos (if, say, your wedding is in December in Detroit)

- Body Shimmer/Body Glitter/Fairy Dust: trust me - you're going to be glowing. It happens naturally. No need to look like late '90s raver kid meets Vegas showgirl by slathering yourself in body glitter. It's just going to end up making you look super sweaty in your photos.

- Fake Eyelashes: I know I'm going to make some enemies here. I, personally, love fake eyelashes. If I could wear them everyday I would. I think they make you look fabulous and glamourous in one move. HOWEVER, they are not for use on your wedding day, and here's why: you will cry. At some point in the day, something will happen to make you tear up. I pride myself on having a heart of stone and only welling up at sports underdog movies (a la Miracle, The Mighty Ducks, etc) and I sobbed - literally bawled - through my vows. It just happens. Something triggers you and you get emotional. Fake eyelashes & their glue unfortunately do not hold. You do not want to end up with giant fake-eyelash-spiders crawling down your face - especially not in the middle of, say, your ceremony.

When in doubt, have a professional or trusted (and experienced) friend help you. Just like your hairdo, make sure you have photos of what you want, and try to do a trial beforehand so you can correct any misguided visions before the big day.

The Wedding

It happened! And, thankfully, no major disasters. Only 2 minor ones to speak of:

1. My 68-year-old aunt ate nothing but ice cream before the wedding, then began double-fisting on caipirinhas (a Brazilian drink which disguises a glass full of sugar-cane rum with a tsp of sugar and a few drops of lime) in the heat. I love that even in your 60s you can still make amateur drinking mistakes. She fainted into the arms of a friend and had to be rushed back to the hotel where some A/C and water awaited.

2. My husband left our rings at the hotel. Thankfully, his best man got to be the hero and loaned his and his wife's rings as our placeholders. But the upside was that his best man was also his brother and his brother's wife had the family heirloom ring. I got to wear it (at least for a few hours) as my ring too!

Hope you enjoy the photos and they help inspire any black & white wedding dreams of yours!

Sometimes DIY Ends in Disaster

I was doing so well on not spending in excess of our budget until today when two things happened to mini-blow the budget:

1. My uber-mellow fiancee decided that he really did want to get a new suit for the wedding. Mainly the Hugo Boss suit that "felt like butter" that he tried on last August for my cousin's wedding (as at that time he did not own a suit at all) and that he's been talking about like a toddler and a tricycle for the last 10 months. He never wants anything, except perhaps the latest version of Fall Out. I cannot deny the man a nice couple of threads for his wedding day.

2. My DIY experiment of creating the seating chart turned into a Holly Hobby fail. The fabric I used to cover the tackboard was too stiff and wouldn't stay taut; the ribbon kept sliding sideways and creating the illusion that I was drunk when I wrapped it around the board; the thick-papered list of guests and "seating chart" label I carefully printed and sliced were glued via spray adhesive (TERRIBLE stuff to control) and looked a touch like a semi-trained chimp with poor spatial distinction had at it. All in all, the thing looks a little short-bus.

Thankfully, I was able to find this fantastic site www.ticketprinting.com which custom-prints tickets for your events. I left the middle portion blank (where it lists the location) and will be filling that in by hand with the Table Number.

Extra thankfully, my bestie works in theatrical booking & production and is able to snag me envelopes for each of the tickets, so I can print labels (instead of handwriting MORE names) and place the ticket inside the labeled envelope. Winner!

Sleeping Bags & Air Mattresses

One thing we did not anticipate in all of our planning and timelines was my mother coming in early. And guess what? The hotel is booked. Naturally.

So now we begin preparing for her to stay with us this weekend. The same weekend we were going to clean for the other family coming into town that's going to stay with us. The same weekend we were going to bathe the dog and get him spic and span for guests. The same weekend of our bachelor parties.

Thankfully, my boyfriend is a dream and vacuumed and scrubbed the floors and kitchen today. That leaves me with the bathrooms tomorrow. The dog will have to greet my mother a tad bit filthy. And it looks like she'll just have to fly solo on our bachelor party evening.

Nothing like a little last minute excitement to keep the adrenaline running. Don't think it can happen to you? Double, triple and quadruple check those hotel reservations. Just sayin'.

A Love Grows in Brooklyn

Check out these adorable ideas of decor for a garden-party-themed wedding!

(My favorite is the place cards tied to mini trees.)

One note: the bucket table with cards spread out is actually a "wishing card" table - in lieu of a guest book, this couple chose to lay out notecards stamped with words like "passion," "love" and "inspiring," then asked their guests to write a wish and throw it in the bucket for them.

A lot more to keep track of in your scrapbook, but it allows the guests to be as personal as they want without the awkwardness of someone reading what they wrote.

The Pope vs The Bard

2 weeks and counting.

Now is when the excitement begins to build. And, as it happens for me, when the drama starts to shake out of the woodwork.

From the very beginning, we told my very-Catholic parents that religion was not something we were interested in for our ceremony - spirituality, yes. Religion, no. We compromised though and asked a friend of the family - studying to be an Episcopalian minister - to perform our ceremony. She knew the desires of both my parents and us and was able to work up a script that include "God" and "Creator" references without the specific dogma references of Catholicism. We thought everyone would be happy.

Well. Until it came time to hand out the readings.

We decided to have literary & musical lyric readings (something my mother knew was an option for quite some time) and after sending them out, she inquired as to where the Bible passage was that she could read.

After some shuffling back and forth and attempting to create an explanation, my fiance came up with a compromise that worked fabulously for us:

He invited my mother to find a Bible passage that she liked which she could then be responsible for reading at the ceremony.

Then we would not have the headache of searching for something we didn't want, we would not feel like our ceremony had been altered if it was coming from her, and she would still get to feel as though we were having a "proper" ceremony.

While this solution may not be ideal for everyone, it has certainly alleviated a lot of stress on our end!

There's Going to be a Disaster

The best thing my best friend (and maid-of-honor) ever said to me during my wedding planning was "you're going to disappoint at least 1 person on your wedding day and offend at least 1 other." Which may sound like a terrible thing to say to someone, until you think about it.

Weddings are so freaking stressful, mainly because you want it to feel special, because you're learning what's important to you and your fiance and because you want everyone to enjoy themselves. Well, as Abe Lincoln (my all-time favorite crush) was once paraphrased "You can please some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time." And girl, ain't no time like a wedding to prove that old adage.

When my best friend said that to me, it was like a huge relief to know that yes, someone will be disappointed and offended no matter what I do. I, of course, was still going to try my hardest to make everything awesome, but I wasn't going to lose my mind over it because sometimes fate and Murphy's Law just take over.

Like my friend Katie whose best man fell down some stairs 6 hours before the ceremony and lost ALL of his front teeth.

Or my friend Renee, who was physically slammed up against a wall and screamed at by the groom's aunt in front of all of her guests because the venue messed up the placement of the aunt's place card and she was seated at the back table.

Or these lovely people, featured on www.someecards.com.

At least when you know that disaster - small or large - is 99% guaranteed to happen, you can accept it and move on, without stressing yourself into a teenage zit fest or turning into the next star of Bridezilla. Your wedding will happen. You will go through the day and people will show up, you will say the "i do's" and at the end of whatever happens, you will be married to the person you love.

It really is just that easy.

Place Cards

Place cards can be a super cute, super fun way to personalize your wedding (and your dad, mother-in-law or venue manager probably won't argue with you on this because it's an easy detail to forget).

There are so many ways you can do cute, cheap placecards. One of my favorites is the mini-topiary tree, which are great for green-minded couples and can double as your favor (see photo, from Beaucoup stationary's site: www.beau-coup.com ).

Another fun idea for a garden-themed or outdoor reception is a short glass of berries with a toothpick flag sticking out of the berries. (A great snack to keep guests busy and from kevetching if the salads are taking a while.)

You can also use the placecards to give subtle cues to the waitstaff: I'm using my black & white theme in my placecards to signify the guests' meal choice to the staff (black for vegetarian, white for meat). Much easier than asking them to memorize seating charts and a touch classier than having them auction off food at the table ("Pork? Anyone for pork?").

Bottom line? White tent cards are boring, and you're so much better than that.

Best. Invite. Ever.

You Must be Kid-ding

Deciding if children will be allowed is almost always a big decision. However you feel about having children at a wedding, it is an increased cost and can be increased planning. (I mean, you have to have SOME means of entertaining them - and no, giving them cake and seating them near your gifts is not enough of a plan.) So for those who decide not to have children at the wedding, how do you tell people politely?

One friend, as I've mentioned before, handwrote in every invited guest's name on the RSVP line so as to avoid confusion on who was invited.

Another friend wrote an FAQ portion of her printed invites with this verbiage for children:

Q. Is this an all ages event?
A. Unfortunately, the size of the venue, general "adult nature" of the wedding and reception limit the attendance. We know that this may be a turn-off for some, but we sincerely hope that it won't prevent you from coming to celebrate with us. We will try to help you arrange convenient childcare for the evening. And who knows... that option might end up being more popular and fun than the wedding and reception themselves.

If you read my RSVP post, you know I left myself wide open for people just telling us how many extra guests they'd be bringing. As such, we ended up having a lot of post-invite conversations and finally decided to allow family to bring children, but no one else (despite the fact that we intended on not allowing children, period).

If you decide to allow some children but not all, make sure there are clear demarcations (like siblings' kids only, etc) so that other people are clearly understand (and are not cornering you) why you aren't allowing their children to come.

Wedding Hair

Magazines, blogs, people will tell you: do a run-through of your hair with your stylist prior to the big day. All well and good, unless you're a) on a budget and b) your stylist is any good and costs more than $20 for the run-through. So what then?

My advice: book a normal cut or color with your stylist sometime before the wedding. (Chances are, you're going to need some kind of hair appointment in the 6 months prior to your wedding.) Make sure before you go in for your appointment that you've done your research on a couple of styles you like and at least know if you're going to have some kind of hair piece or veil. Try to do a version of the style you're thinking about when you go in. Bring your veil or a photo of your hair decor with you as well as a photo of the style you were trying to replicate. Before you get started on your normal appointment business, spend 5 minutes briefing the stylist on your thoughts for the big day. Obviously, this doesn't take the place of a full run-through. But it gives your stylist a heads up and allows him or her to steer you clear of any hair disasters that are going to leave you sorely disappointed.

Note: make sure you give your stylist an extra tip on your normal hair business appointment in consideration for their expertise and consultation. It's a nice gesture, good karma and will help motivate their memory of your discussion.

RSVPs: Do Not Do This

Please, please, please: learn from my mistake. I thought it was ingenious to add this little "__ # Attending" box so that if one member of the couple couldn't make it they could fill out the right number.

Wrong.

This little box has served for nothing but migraines and countless awkward conversations beginning with "we'd love to have you bring your kids/flavor of the week/paid escort, but we're keeping the wedding intimate due to venue size and it's just not feasible."

Next time my fiance and I get married, I'm definitely NOT including that box and definitely AM handwriting in every invited guest's name into the M__________ line. A friend of mine did that and she definitely had FAR less people calling to ask about bringing uninvited guests and NONE that just wrote them in like hobos. Sheesh.

Table Number Fun

If you saw my previous centerpiece post, you know that I am trying to use DIY record bowls as the basis for my centerpiece. This can quite easily go into ticky-tacky-kindergarten-craft-land. So in an attempt to make the tables look cohesive, I've decided to use 45s with DVD labels as my table numbers.

I thought this was a brilliant idea until I realized a) the DVD labels covered too much of the record and I'd have to somehow slice out the center to match the 45 and b) the memo clip holders I bought to hold the table numbers work great for paper but not for something as heavy as a small record.

I scrounged around and using the magic of nail scissors I was able to slice the center of the DVD labels without tearing the labels. And by pulling the metal clip part of a binder clip out, I was able to make a stand for the 45 that looks super incognito.

Now I have a cohesive table setting! Or at least the beginnings of one...

Minimums Are Not Your Friend

I probably don't need to tell you this but minimums are not a good idea. Whenever possible, avoid them at all costs.

A little story to emphasize the point: a dear friend of mine is getting married in upstate NY in June. In her dream wedding stupor, she signed a venue/catering contract that required a guest minimum. This didn't seem like a big deal at the time as the minimum is 135 guests and she invited 180. AND those 180 were attempting to bring children who were not invited. But here we are, the middle of May, and she is now panicking, trying to come up with warm bodies to meet the minimum to which she committed.

Point being, if a vendor wants you to commit to a minimum, do NOT tell them how many people you're inviting - they will try to convince you of a higher minimum that may land you in the situation above. Tell them you can commit to a minimum that's 50-60% of your guest list, even though you can typically expect 70-80% of your guest list to attend. Or just avoid the minimum altogether.

Vinyl Record Bowl Centerpieces (or Fuck the Flowers)

As you may have noticed from a tweet last week, I am completely obsessed with record bowl making. What prompted this, you may ask. I'll tell you: flowers are freaking expensive.

If you are planning a wedding, a wake, a large-scale mother's day event or an epic apology, you may already know this.

If you are, as I was, a novice to the whole floral industry, it may shock you to find out that if you want anything beyond what the Piggly-Wiggly is carrying that day, you will be asked to pay in first-born children. Because of a long story that I will not bore you with here, I am obliged to have flowers for my and my bridesmaids' bouquets. I selected a single rose "bouquet" for each of 3 ladies. The total was $60. For 3 roses. Yup. And that is CHEAPSIES, friends.

Because I am not a millionaire nor insane, I decided that there had to be a more budget-friendly and interesting non-floral centerpiece that I could create. Knowing my and my boyfriend's love of music, as well as our black & white theme (sidebar: why does anyone NEED a theme? isn't getting married enough?) a friend of mine suggested vinyl record bowls.

I have been obsessed ever since.

So I thought I'd help out and post some instructions in case you too want these little babies on your tables - event, home or otherwise.

RECORD BOWL INSTRUCTIONS*

* Each oven is different. I recommend trying with a record you don't mind ruining first, then moving on to the "real" record(s).

(If you do not have a cookie tray, line your oven rack with aluminum foil before beginning.)

Pre-heat the oven to 210 degrees Farenheit.

Place your record on a ceramic bowl that is large enough for the record to balance on easily but still small enough that the record will be able to hang over the edge a bit as it gets warm and plyable.

Place the ceramic bowl on a cookie tray or the aluminum foil. If you put it on the cookie tray, put the cookie tray in the oven. (If you put it on the foil, your bowl is already in the oven. And if you need me to point that out, you should probably have some supervision.)

Keep the record in the oven for about 5-8 minutes. KEEP AN EYE ON IT. Seriously. Once the record starts folding down towards the cookie sheet or foil it is plyable.

Remove the cookie sheet/ceramic bowl from the oven. Place it on a towel or safe surface. Use a small ceramic mug or bowl to press down in the center of the record so that the record falls inside the ceramic bowl and folds up around the smaller mug or bowl. (See photo at top of this posting for what it should look like.)

Let it hang out for about 10 minutes until completely cooled.

Bowl made.

Hope you enjoy this!!!

(p.s. my boyfriend is totally singing "feed my breast" to the tune of beauty & the beast's "be my guest" while i write this. ladies and gentleman: the man with whom i will be spending the rest of my life.)

Hotel Blocks (aka the Bane of My Existence)

Lesson of the day from yesterday: no matter who tells you they won't be able to make it when you send out the save the date or that they'll be driving and not spending the night near your wedding - don't believe them.

Chances are, they will change their minds. And then you wind up with your mother calling you long distance from another country (or state) where she lives crying that she didn't book the room in time and now they're out and you have to call the hotel and negotiate more rooms, if that's even possible, because the insane amount that you set aside is now sold out and she will be on the street unless you do something.

No pressure.

So, please. Learn from the error of my ways. If you think 5 people are going to show up, book 40 rooms. And make sure you are not responsible for paying for any of them. (Just in case it swings the other way...)

A Quick Breather

So my boyfriend has been housesitting for the last couple of days and I gotta say - it's kind of nice. It's bringing back the magic for a couple who lives together and has been caught up in the pettiness of how many people we can fit in the reception area and what the cake-cutting song should be. It has given me a chance to actually miss him again - and for him to miss me.

Also, now I get to watch all the L&O and America's Next Top Model I can handle without anyone judging my junk TV intake. Sweet.

60 Days

Here I am... slowly losing my mind.

About 8 months ago I got engaged to a kick-ass dude - someone that thinks my inappropriate jokes are hilarious, my Patsy-and-Adina velour sweats that my mom gave me are flattering, and that I am just generally a genius. The whole engagement thing took some getting used to as, for the most part, I just figured I'd just live with my boyfriend forever and not bother going through the legal and financial rigamarole of the wedding process. That went out the window pretty quickly - especially when I was staring down the barrel of a heart-felt proposal.

So I tried to change my tune: I've been to weddings. I've been IN weddings. Weddings are fun, they're a reflection of the couple that's getting married, a celebration of- oh, who am I kidding? Weddings are the reason I never wanted to get married. They are a total hassle, completely nonsensical and make everyone you know - and even those you don't - completely insane.

Despite my career as a producer - live events and otherwise - I was not prepared for the emotional insanity that would ensue with my family, my boyfriend's family, my friends, my parents' friends - you get the idea. So far I've had my mother add at least 1 additional couple to the guest list each week for the last 2 months, my boyfriend's cousin call to inform us that we must have mislabeled the invitation and she will in fact be bringing her 7 children, and a dear friend (who's getting married 2 weeks before me) ask me to move my wedding to Spring of 2011. I shit you not: people get crazy.

On the plus side, I have managed to, thus far, use my producing skills to negotiate the shit out of vendors' services, my coupon-clipping penchant for procuring discounts on wares and my DIY craftiness to learn and make most every decoration in the venue. Still, with the last two months being where the budget tends to fly out the window with the "let's just get it done - what's another $200" mentality, I've decided to start documenting the chaos. Hopefully not only to keep me in line, but to help anyone else that might need an idea or two.

60 days and counting (as per www.theknot.com checklist - an obnoxious yet annoyingly helpful tool for anyone planning a wedding).

There has to be an easier way to throw a wedding. And I'm determined to find it.